By Brenda Su // Mosaic Staff Writer
Cockroaches are agents of Satan.
Last night around 1:00 a.m., I woke up to screaming. At first I thought someone was dying, so I burst out of my room into the hall. I saw about five girls shrieking and running out of a room. The previous night, someone had found a cockroach in the showers, so I assumed it was just another cockroach.
Naturally, I went inside the room to investigate. “Where is it?” I asked.
I heard more shrieking from the bystanders outside the room, and I myself screamed when I saw this thing scuttling past me. I have never seen a cockroach this big, not even in Taiwan, where mutant tropical bugs dine on the blood of your children. Its legs were freakishly long; it looked elevated, like it was on stilts. I understood why Kelly originally thought there had been a rat in her room.
Still shrieking, I slammed the door closed after the cockroach crawled into the hallway. Gingerly, after maybe a minute or two, I opened the door. The cockroach had trapped itself in a dark corner.
Someone got Chris to come over to kill it, and then we realized there were TWO cockroaches. Chris squashed both of them. One of them died, but unfortunately, the second one played dead and crawled out of the trash can and into someone else’s room. That bastard.
We were all too freaking scared to sleep. I forgot who said this, but someone said this about the cockroach: “You could walk it. It was a f-ing dog.”
I bet the one that didn’t die is out for revenge. Maybe it’ll bring some friends.